An important strategy for surviving to 2100 is to properly maintain your bodily vessel in tip-top shape. Every now and then it’s good to check all systems: respiratory/breathing, energy levels, and of course digestion. Lately, I’ve noticed some rather sluggish digestion and a little research showed that this is a common in people who have potential or past gallbladder issues.

Inspired by the science fair that just wrapped up at the middle school I teach in, I decided to apply a little of the ol’ scientific method to resolve the lingering effects of my gallstones.

Problem: Sluggish Digestion…There are all kinds of indicators of this, including lower energy levels or a feeling of heaviness, but the best way is to look at the end product: poo doesn’t lie. Take the Poo Quiz to see where you stand!

Hypothesis: A history of gallbladder disease, regularly eating dairy or gluten, or other dietary choices may be slowing my digestive system down. By limiting dairy and gluten, lowering my fat intake (fat bugs gallbladders!) and increasing probiotics and fiber, I can improve my digestion.

Experiment: Over a time period of 2 weeks, I will keep a digestion diary on all food and drink, taking special note of dairy, gluten, fat, fiber and probiotics. I will also collect data on the time and quality of poo and my daily energy levels. By comparing these variables after two weeks, I hope to determine what factors may be affecting my digestion so that I can prevent future gallbladder issues…and live to see 2100!

Materials:
-Digestion Diary (pocket size ideal)
-Pen
-Clock/calendar to track time and date
-colored pencils
-graph paper

Procedure:
1. Record each item that is eaten or imbibed throughout the day in the Food Diary, recording the date and time upon ingestion.
2. Record any bodily function relating to digestion throughout the day (including short descriptions of bowel movements, presence of gas or boating, energy levels, and mood)
3. Record physical activities, such as biking, gym, etc.
4. Color code the variables of: fat; fiber; probiotics; dairy; gluten; sugar; and exercise.
5. After 2 weeks have passed, gather graph paper, colored pencils, and data recorded in Digestion Diary to prepare a graph or chart.

…Well, time to get scientific! I’ll be back with the results in 2 weeks, and maybe even a little before to see how things are going. Best of health to all!

Only a month left in the year makes this a very late Resolution. Perhaps the first New Year’s Resolution that I might actually keep for the rest of the year, assuming I can cut it: chilling out.

Just yesterday I met with the surgeon to discuss chopping out my recently attacked gallbladder, and I mentioned my chagrin at getting gallstones so soon after doing a liver cleanse (I left out the Master Cleanse…and 5 day fast…). “Oh don’t bother with those,” said the Morgan Freeman look-alike, brushing off the very idea, “I don’t recommend them.” This advice, from such a sage figure, along with the recent recognition of French Cuisine by UNESCO cultural heritage, has given me pause to realize my rush and bother to live to 2100 is probably doing more harm than good in getting me there.

What, you may ask, do the French have to do with it? Well, their entrance into the intangible cultural heritage of humanity hall of fame was noted by one writer as a nod to the French conception of food as a social celebration of life vs. the American view of food as the package for the tabulations of nutrients, calories, and antioxidants that are needed to keep our body machine going.

Ever since my gallbladder bit back after all of the stress I put myself through I’ve felt a big need to step back from this blog to regroup and reconsider what will make each day of however the hell long my life ends up being as worthwhile and happy as possible. = less extremes, more French food. I by no means regret the detoxes, diets and fads I’ve chased so far this year to see what they’re hiding. I’m the type who needs to learn the hard way, through experience, and hopefully my foibles can better inform you, dear reader, as to what not to do.
So even if my recent lifestyle was not the main cause of the stones in my gallbladder (which I’ll be keeping for the near future, by the by!), the annoyance I’ve come to feel even in my own head at constantly considering nutritional breakdowns instead of a respect for my food means it’s time for change.

So the big lesson??? The Resolution??? Chilling, man. I got extreme in the past, but even now that I’m swinging on the opposite direction I am taking with me the clean good feeling of eating fresh, healthy food and the bright exhilaration of using my body to its full potential through daily exercise. Intense detoxes and supplements are a thing of the past, but having tried them I know my body and mind all the better.

So see you around, and happy holidays. I’ll be back with more on the quest to 2100…you know, when I feel like it.

I mean, it’s embarrassing, really.

Do what you can to stand tall in a search for simplicity and nutrition in the era of the Big Mac, and then BAM! Doubled over in pain from a low blow from intestinal disease.
Yup, disease.
Dirty word, but the gallbladder disease cholelithiasis, or gallstones–2 to be precise–is exactly what I have.

So, you can probably understand that I’ve been caught up in thought wondering why of all people I was hit so young with these stones, and what the hell am I going to do about it.

Why Gallstones?
The ping-pong reasoning going on in my brain

I’m a girl–women are more likely to have gallstones. Then there’s heredity, and the fact that I was on a very-low-calorie diet during the master cleanse…still, these super-smarty dudes about gallbladder health say that they still don’t really know why some people get gallstones… considering the negative effects of stress, I think I’d better just stop worrying about it and chill. Everything they say to do to prevent gallstones I was doing–high-fruit, veggie, and fiber diet low in animal fats…but still, according to this Dr. Dude:

Then in the mid-1980s, researchers found that, compared to meat eaters, vegetarian women were only about one-fourth as likely to need gallbladder surgery. Later studies showed much the same pattern. To reduce your risk even further, try to avoid weight gain, weight swings and extreme low-calorie diets. All tend to increase gallstone risk for reasons that no one has ever entirely worked out.

So let’s jot it down to the up and down extremes of fasting and binging (I gotta admit, dear readers, I had a bad weekend or two after some of those fasts) and not do that again. Ok check.

So now what???

To chop out the gall bladder or not to chop it out? I convince myself of one or the other every next day.

With the latest technology, gallbladder removal is easier than ever. Somewhere around 500,000 Americans get theirs chopped out every year. So why even keep it, if it’s so easy to get rid of?
Well, I was born with my gallbladder, after all, I’m still rather attached to it, even after all the pain it’s given me. If I can adjust my diet to a middle-way normalcy instead of the extremities I tend toward, then can’t I keep my gallbladder? If anything, taking care of my gallbladder can keep me accountable to my health.
On the other hand, isn’t it kind of obvious there’s a problem that needs solving here? I mean I’m diseased! After all, if I’m prone to gall troubles, then this may all happen again (it hurt a lot, by the way). What if I’m lost on a desert island and the sudden low-calorie diet kicks off my gallstones again? Maybe best to get remove the gallbladder now and not when something terrible is happening.

Your opinion would be most welcome–I have heard only a few points of view and I’d really like more perspective before I decide to chop or not! Much thanks, and good gall health to you.

Gallbladder:
A pear-shaped organ just below the liver that stores the bile secreted by the liver. During a fatty meal, the gallbladder contracts, delivering the bile through the bile ducts into the intestines to help with digestion. Abnormal composition of bile leads to formation of gallstones, a process termed cholelithiasis. The gallstones cause cholecystitis, inflammation of the gallbladder.

See those little yellow blobs labeled gallstones? I’ve got 2 of ‘em in me, and they’re hurting me, right…now. Still, as the day’s dose of painkillers slowly wears off, this is nothing close to the trials of yesterday, when I felt like one of those alien creatures was trying to erupt out of my right side. Not pleasant.

But where to begin? When the gallstones first made their entrance into my awareness, or when they were first formed in my ignorant (if not innocent) little gallbladder? What caused these little trouble-makers to start wreaking havoc, and could it happen to you?

Let me give you the warning signs before I go into my own story, just in case you’re in danger of this same gut-wrenching pain:

You may be predisposed to gallstones if…

-you are a woman
-you have gallstones in the family
-you eat a high-fat diet
-you are native american
-you are older (older the person, higher the chance)
-you are obese
-you take birth control or hormone therapy (watch out for Plan B here too)
-you have been pregnant
-you have been on a fast or very low-calorie diets

Yes, dear friends, it seems as though the fasting and cleansing I’ve been doing has come back to bite me in the duodenum (yup, that hurt too yesterday). That, a family history of gallstones, a high-fat weekend with the extra evil last-touch of alcohol (also bad for the gallbladder) seem to have all concerted their efforts for the most high-reaching symphony of pain I have ever experienced.

It all started with a particularly nasty stomach ache on Sunday night after a crappy weekend. My cat died, I got drunk in his memory, and ate some nasty stuff that I don’t want to sully this blog by mentioning. Stomachache was so bad I could barely sleep. Monday was okay once I was up and moving, until bedtime hit again, and I was sleeplessly tossing and turning in pain. Unlike Monday, however, I had only been at school a couple of hours before I thought I couldn’t take it anymore. My fellow art teachers remarked on the particular shade of green I had turned before they sent me home. The pain skyrocketed as I attempted to drive home. Why? I wondered…I just ate, I supposed, and even though the handful of Saltine crackers were supposed to make me feel better, they had the exact opposite effect. Something inside me wanted out.
I got home, threw all my stuff on the floor and hurled myself at the toilet, hoping to vomit up whatever evil creature had taken up residence in my belly. No dice. Couldn’t barf if I tried. No #2 either-not that I was stopped up, all things had been operating well on that front all week. So I was desperate-nothing coming out but something obviously WRONG-at this point I am lying on the floor, shifting into every possible position only to find that nothing is comfortable, wailing like a baby in my empty house, mind too far gone with pain to even be able to wonder rationally what was happening to me.
I carried my poor belly like a victim of a stabbing over to the phone where I called the one person who I knew could make everything alright: my dad. Talk about the benefits of living at home. He said he’d be right over, and I found a moment of peace as I sat in complete stillness until he arrived. As soon as I moved a muscle, though, the pain was back again and continued, from the house to the clinic, from the clinic to the ER. After the usual hours of waiting and a much needed pain pill, I could think again.

Pain really sideswipes you, makes it impossible to think in anything close to a civilized way. My brain had reverted to the lower regions of fight or flight, and when I first heard the doctors mention my Gallbladder, I wanted that thing out of me. Stat. No questions, no “let’s check to make sure” tests: out. Now.
Still, the doctors were wiser than I, and recommended to wait since I wasn’t critical to get a second opinion and more blood work. An ultrasound had found 2 small stones in my gallbladder. It was official, and despite the relief of knowing why I hurt, I was still a bit stressed. A fantastic family turnout of well-wishes and even an aunt in the ER helped me calm down a bit though (along with the hydrocodone…). By then-10pm when we got out-I was really too tired to care.
After that kind of pain, you don’t care too much about what’s going to happen to your internal organs in the future, how your attempt at eating healthy has potentially stabbed you in the back, or even how you will ever eat again after the trauma of your last meal. Everything is AWESOME, because you don’t hurt anymore. A pretty simple equation. I went to sleep.

However, the simplicity of that first freedom from pain has evaporated, as has the medication I took this morning (and let me tell you, those organs you can’t imagine feeling right now, even if you tried? They can really stand out when they want to call your attention to something–as in the sharp pinch I’m feeling right now just below my liver–no a little higher, just below your right ribcage. There’s that gallbladder. Ouch) and I am left with so many questions…

Right now my surgery is planned for after our family cruise next week….will I just be on the verge of intense pain unless I’m on medication until then?

What does the gallbladder do exactly–like really? These Docs seem pretty eager to cut it out, but I’m only 24! Isn’t that a little soon for me to be loosing pieces?! Is the gallbladder really that unnecessary?

If I do lose my gallbladder, how are they going to do it?

What if I want to keep my gallbladder? Can I never fast again?

What are my alternatives to surgery?

I’ve gone from wanting my gallbladder out instantaneously to suddenly dearly wanting to keep it–do I have Stockholm Syndrome of the organs?

So much to think about, and it’s only 2010! 90 years to go to see 2100–this is going to be a lot of work :/

I have NOT not been working out, which has been awesome! An hour a day, usually in a class/gym setting, although sometimes I’ve simply snatched a quick run, walked a lot, or done hardcore chores that left me sweating. I feel fabulous–despite the crap I’ve been eating, and let me tell you, some of the stuff I’ve ingested over the last week would make a billy goat look twice.

So is this cheating? Working out as planned, but binging like a brand new divorcee parked at a Ben & Jerry’s? Yes yes yes and YES! It’s so gross! And I know I’d feel sooooo much better if I was taking all the things I’ve learned about food, health & nutrition, and ADDED them to my daily practice instead of just blowing them off! I mean, if I feel about as good from working out daily as I did from eating right, then the combination of the two should have exponential effects!
I can’t wait.

So the plan! Luckily I ended the gross-streak on the last day of October (Halloween chocolate Horror stories, anyone? I’ve got a few…) so I’m starting fresh this month! November is going to be a busy 30 days for me, but with a combination of eating right and exercising daily, it’s going to rock.

November
Exercise every day!

1-4: Vegetarian only & no refined sugar

5-7: Vegan, to get ready for

8-17: Raw food with dad! It’s been months since our last raw food endeavor, and it’s so much easier to eat raw with a partner! By now we know how to do it well though, and it will prepare us for

18-24: A Thanksgiving cruise with the family! On average people gain 5-15 pounds on a cruise (for real!) but if you treat them like spas you can actually improve your well being on them. I’ll have to figure out how to do this well later. Rest assured there will be a full report.

Uh-oh–going to be late for yoga! Until next time, eat seasonally and be well!

Working out HURTS.

Your muscle fibers start tearing up, the oxygen in your bloodstream gets used up, and the lactic acid your body produces because of this can make your over-worked muscles feel sore for DAYS.
(These are super-simplified descriptions of highly scientific science, by the way. Check out the links throughout to get info from people more in touch with their inner scientist.)

Now, if you haven’t noticed by now I have an addictive personality, food being at the top of my sin list.
So you can imagine how excited I was when I realized that endorphins are a drug naturally produced by your body to reduce pain–ever heard of the “runners high”?
…could it be possible to replace my addiction to sweets with an addiction to the sweet sweet feeling of running five miles?

All About Endorphins

Endorphins 101: This great guide to all things endorphins makes working out seem sexy. Speaking of sexy, turns out that not only working out, but sex, happy thoughts, art, and chili peppers can also get your endorphins going. Hot stuff!

Others tout the 3 E’s: Exercise, Endorphins, and Euphoria as a team with as much success as the three musketeers.

And if you weren’t already convinced, exercise has been shown to help with depression, according to the WebMD. Check out the awesome benefits of exercise-related endorphins:

Regular exercise has been proven to help:

* Reduce stress
* Ward off anxiety and feelings of depression
* Boost self-esteem
* Improve sleep

Exercise also has these added health benefits:

* It strengthens your heart.
* It increases energy levels.
* It lowers blood pressure.
* It improves muscle tone and strength.
* It strengthens and builds bones.
* It helps reduce body fat.
* It makes you look fit and healthy.

Makes sense that my grueling yoga class last night left me feeling great, despite the pain of repeated plank position. I’ll be ready for more at Zumba tonight!

Talk is easy.

Doing stuff is hard.

This is lesson one.

I found right off the bat that trying to wake up early and be jazzed about push-ups was not going to happen. Sure a goal of working out 1 hour a day seems solid and specific, both good characteristics of goals, in my humble experience.

So I thought back to the thoughts that had even led me to my fancy for buffing up as my next endeavor to live to see the year 2100. I must admit a seductively exotic Yoga Journal article (November 2010) about yoga vacations in the rainforest had enticed me to dream of being the type of person who went here:

So my big time dream?
Go to one of these retreats one day. Gotta be in shape for it though! So that’s something to keep me motivated when I begin to doubt my real devotion to living for(almost)ever…and working out an hour a day.

Unfortunately, just envisioning sunset-plumed parrots swooping down on me as I practice my pigeon pose doesn’t get me working out in the morning.
I need a super-duper-mega-ultra goal.
So what’s it gonna be? The goal that trumps the brain-awake but body-sluggish laze of the first waking moments of consciousness in the morning? The vision, including the attached regular and long-term effort?
Becoming a yoga teacher. If you haven’t noticed my now, I’m an uber-nerd. I love school, and to be a certified yoga teacher most of the programs require 2 years of daily practice (30mins to an hour). Awesome looking schools in cool cities like Asheville, North Carolina, Boston, MA and more would be a hoot to spend 3 weeks or so in reading the Dhammapada and learning about yoga massage.
One day.

Till then, my goals, from the tiniest daily goal to long-term yearly goals/dream vacations, are set. Makes it much easier to do my thing on a day like today, when my Zumba exercise class was canceled and beach yoga (a rare pleasure) was deemed impossible due to the tide. Despite all odds, I made it through a cathartic hour-long yoga session at home. Yoga Journal’s November 2010 issue led me through 10 poses to build strength & grace. Good stuff.

Still, there’s something to be learned here!

The experience reminds me of miserably trying to master math. I would think that I could never possibly understand and quadratic formula of chapter 5 until, against my will, chapter 6 came along, which was twice as hard! I could barely get through it, but damn, looking back at my homework from the week before, the quadratic equation sure was easy!
The so the moral of my story: No matter how hard you study or practice eating right or whatever, you will generally continue to suck at it for awhile…until you push yourself to do something even harder, and in that way master your former challenges.

So! Whats the next big challenge?
Exercise!

I’ve been detoxing, fasting, eating raw food, looked orthorexia right in the face and shot back with a weekend of binge eating that says, “sure I might be crazy, but I’m not your kind of crazy.”
I’m sick of thinking about food! I know enough to know better by now if I’m really screwing up, and even plenty of good tidbits, like to always get plenty of omega-3s for great skin. If food was Chapter 1, I’ve learned it all, mastered it, and gotten drunk after the test. Time for Chapter 2: exercising!

Right now I’m keeping things very simple.
My goal is to work out for 1 hour a day.
I’m not talking hardcore sweating-trembling-muscles-at-the-brink-breakdown exercise, I mean brisk physical activity of any kind, with at least a few times a week being more intense.
Today I did some energizing yoga stretches, including the Wild Thing, before going on a long bike ride. Turned into quite a battle with the wind coming over the bay, but the flowers blooming at Moody Gardens distracted me. An hour well spent.

We’ll have to consider this Chapter 2.1 in the Big Book of Living to 2100– just like in math. Let’s see how it goes this week before moving on!

The first days after a food fast are the hardest, because the second your tongue touches it’s first unadulterated whole food morsel in the longest you’ve ever been without… Well, fireworks are a good description. In that, stop everything you were doing or thinking about and pay attention to THIS! kind of way.

It’s very easy to fall to the temptation of such sensuous explosions. Alas, temptation, post detox only snowballs to more tenptation. I only know this from my last cleanse, months ago, when I might well have been worthy of such dissapointed gossip as kicked off this blog.

Maybe that’s one reason the master cleanse was so easy this round. Somewhere I realized that the hard part was not making one decision when it came to what to eat today–spicy lemonade–it was going to be the days after the cleanse, a million decisions about what to eat.

So today, to avoid being the subject of juicy detox gossip, I dub this day, post-detox day 1, Juice Day, and henceforth shall it be known as such.

Juice Day, often celebrated instead of Columbus Day (seriously, what is that for?), has proven essential for me as I slowly return to the world of the eating.

Today’s Menu:

3 Odwalla juices
2 POM teas
Lots of water
1 green smoothie

Had I not held out and consciously rationed myself, today would have been very hard. As it is, I’ve decided to treat myself (on an unexpected day off from work) to a COOKED meal out tomorrow at Yelapa, a fantastic looking new Mexican restaurant I drooled at while I watches a friend eat the best looking cevice I’ve ever seen. Except for that, 2 days of raw starting tomorrow! Yay whole food. More gossip to come…

1 Hour Later

Shoot I really wasn’t expecting this…crap.
See, I got sideswiped by the Ukrainians….they’re my friends from afar, in town temporarily…and they were cooking, this, magical exotic Ukrainian thing, right? I can’t remember the name of it but as the girls rolled out dough and stuffed seared onions and potato into adorable little puffs of pasta pastry they tried to teach me how to say it. Something between a purr and a meow. They were so gracious and eager to please with the first of this Russian dish they’d made in months I thought, well…maybe just one?

Which of course turned into a whole bowl.
It was delicious.

Damn.

Noticeable Changes at the End of the Master Cleanse:

-I didn’t weigh myself before the cleanse, but let’s just say the shorts I’m wearing now didn’t quite fit before I started this. Now I have to use a belt to keep them in the right spot, since there’s no chub to hold them in place!

-Words people have used to describe my skin: glowing, angelic…the difference I notice is smaller pores and overall softness

-soft shiny hair–and is it growing faster or is that just me?

-An intangible that I vow to find a way to continue when I eat again is the stable, even keeled and vibrant energy I’ve had this week. Before the cleanse I remember the day being a roller coaster, with me on a high after coffee or tea or sugar, and low after dealing with stressful situations at work. Mornings were far from alert. After the first few adjustment days, I woke up with the same balanced, alert energy I kept all day.

-An appreciation for food–I can’t wait to slow down and savor every bite, every meal, every day.

-Finally, I really feel like I have pressed the Restart Button on my mind & body when it comes to how I interact with food. After saying no to EVERYTHING for so long, it seems totally doable to say no to the things that I know will be unhealthy or will interrupt my smooth-flow of energy and well-being. It’s like I just cleaned my room, so of course I’m not going to just dump everything in my drawers out next time I need to get dressed. That brings me to yet another benefit:

-I’ve had time to organize the way I want to eat and better know WHAT I want to eat when I eat again. Setting clear, weekly goals is something I’m used to now, and is a perfect format for menu planning and ensuring I get all the essential nutrients (and occasional splurges) I need to live a long, happy life.

Still, as great as this Master Cleanse had been, there’s still more before I’m a full-fledged eater again! Before eating all willy-nilly, your body needs an adjustment period so that it isn’t stressed suddenly digesting solid food. Most web sites and the original Master Cleanser book recommend one day of juice before eating returning to food. And of course, you don’t do the Master Cleanse and then go back to eating fast food and processed grossness. That restart button affects the decisions you make about whether or not to put toxins in your newly pristine, cleansed body.

So tomorrow, juice. And then–and this has been making me hungry just thinking about it today– 2 days of raw, where I will attempt the first of many lasagnes I intend to test out in the next few weeks.
Isn’t it glorious? And it’s totally raw! I will be sharing the recipe, and my next few days of post-cleanse come down, in next week’s posts.

A Call for Guinea Pigs

In the meantime, I know quite a few people who have told me they’re starting the Master Cleanse themselves in the next week or two! I think this calls for some SCIENCE.
If you are considering doing the Master Cleanse yourself, would you be interested in answering a few simple questions every day of the detox as part of a tiny study of Master Cleanse effects? A fabulous benefit would be knowing you are accountable and that the results would be published when you finish–having a partner (even if it’s a blog) is a beautiful thing on this kind of challenge.
Please comment below if you are interested or email me at jescantonelli@gmail.com